Sunday, March 25, 2012

Love Dreams, by January Valentine

Barnes & Noble

She's a beautiful wreck who hates men, but loves animals. Beaten and left for dead, she suffers from night terrors. He's handsome. He's wealthy. He's in a wheelchair. His entire life has changed, and the past months have been hell. 

**I won this book from Goodreads as a First Reads giveaway**

Can you give a book less than one star?  I must have read a different book than the five people who originally rated this five stars.  Because OMG: this was a painful read.

Trite.  Banal.  Underwhelming.

I should look up more words in my thesaurus, since I'm pretty sure the author did the same thing throughout the book.  Very high-school-esque.  There are a number of references to the 1980s.  Bolero jacket, anyone?  I'm assuming this was written 20+ years ago and was published without anyone looking at it in the present day.

Glaring mistakes: The price on the back of the book is listed as $!5.00.  There are three pictures on the front cover, the back cover, and within the first few pages, all of which show different women of differing nationalities.  Very confusing.  None of the men are in wheelchairs.  In the middle of the book, the pages are out of order, so you wonder what on earth is going on when you flip from page 180 to 187, then page 192 to 181. 

Those, however, are the least of this book's problems: there are grammatical errors; inconsistencies in timeline; and misplaced punctuation.  To start.  It gets worse.  How?  The lack of plot.  And the two-dimensional characters.  And the cheesy dialog.  And the spineless female lead, Sienna.  And the I-loved-life-until-I-landed-in-a-wheelchair love interest.  And the book's message that you have to be in a relationship in order to be happy.  WTF?  Sienna goes on a European vacation with a guy she can't stand, which her "best" friend pushes her to do.  WHY?  I saw zero motivation in any action performed by any character.

There is a psychic/medium.  A half-dozen car accidents.  Mention of an Incubus.  A "twist" at the end that you can see coming a mile away.  Technically-correct sex scenes which are so dull I wanted to poke my eyes out: palming her buttocks?  Really?

I need to go read some YA dystopian fiction to lift my spirits.

No comments:

Post a Comment