Just One Year (Just One Day #2), by Gayle Forman

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Equal parts romance, coming-of-age-tale, mystery and travel romp (with settings that span from England’s Stratford upon Avon to Paris to Amsterdam to India’s Bollywood) Just One Day and Just One Year show how in looking for someone else, you just might wind up finding yourself. 

After spending an amazing day and night together in Paris, Just One Year is Willem's story, picking up where Just One Day ended. His story of their year of quiet longing and near-misses is a perfect counterpoint to Allyson's own as Willem undergoes a transformative journey, questioning his path, finding love, and ultimately, redefining himself.





I have been waiting for Just One Year from the moment that I finished Just One Day.  The latter completely blew me away and I couldn't wait for Willem's POV of their time apart and their reconnection.

So imagine my surprise at the disillusionment I felt throughout the novel.  Do you see the description above?  Where it says "picking up where Just One Day ended"?  Guess what I was expecting.  FOR THIS BOOK TO PICK UP WHERE THE PREVIOUS ONE LEFT OFF.

Guess what I got?  NOT THAT.

Allyson's story in JOD was empowering and full of self-discovery.  Willem's story in JOY was all wallowing in self-pity and shacking up with other girls while he was oh-so-in-love with "Lulu."  And I just didn't buy it.

Maybe I would have felt differently if there had been more interaction between the two protagonists.  But I kept anticipating their reunion (picking up where the last one left off!!!) and felt nothing but anxiety and disappointment with each chapter.

WTF, Gayle Forman?  Your previous works have left me bleary-eyed from too much crying, but were always worth the heartfail.  This?  Bleary-eyed from near-boredom.  Had I known that I wouldn't get a whole book--or at least part of a book--with Willem and Allyson together, I'm not sure I would have read it.  And I'm really glad that I borrowed this from the library instead of purchasing it; I would have rated it lower if I had spent any money on this sequel.  As it is, three stars is being generous.

Tumble & Fall, by Alexandra Coutts

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A novel about the end of days full of surprising beginnings

The world is living in the shadow of oncoming disaster. An asteroid is set to strike the earth in just one week’s time; catastrophe is unavoidable. The question isn’t how to save the world—the question is, what to do with the time that's left? Against this stark backdrop, three island teens wrestle with intertwining stories of love, friendship and family—all with the ultimate stakes at hand.

Alexandra Coutts's Tumble & Fall is a powerful story of courage, love, and hope at the end of the world.




Let's just look at the cover for a moment, shall we?  It's gorgeous!  I love the font, the cover models, and the bokeh lights.

Sadly, that's the best part of the book.  Awesome premise.  Poor execution.  What kind of father hires a prostitute for his son?  Disgusting.

I received a copy of this book from NetGalley in exchange for my honest review.

Twigs, by Alison Ashley Formento

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One pint-sized girl. Ten super-sized crises. And it’s high noon.

They call her “Twigs,” because she’ll never hit five feet tall. Although she was born early, and a stiff breeze could knock her over, Twigs has a mighty spirit. She needs it, as life throws a whole bucket of rotten luck at her: Dad’s an absentee drunk; Mom’s obsessed with her new deaf boyfriend (and Twigs can’t tell what they’re saying to each other). Little sister Marlee is trying to date her way through the entire high school; Twigs’ true love may be a long-distance loser after a single week away at college, and suddenly, older brother Matt is missing in Iraq. It all comes together when a couple of thugs in a drugstore aisle lash out, and Twigs must fight to save the life of the father who denied her.




I seem to be in a NetGalley funk this past week.  I've read some real gems and some real...not gems.  And by "read," I mean "no way could I finish this book."

I really wanted to like this book, but there was SO. MUCH. GOING. ON. that it was hard to keep track of everything.  Really, how much melodrama does one person attract?

This is the review that most resembles what I would write if I wanted to spend more time on this book.

I received a copy of this book from NetGalley in exchange for my honest review.

Eloise, by Judy Finnigan

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Yesterday I almost saw her.

I was standing on the sun deck, looking out to sea, revelling in the unexpected warmth of the February sun. A butterfly trembled on a nearby buddleia and suddenly I smelled her perfume.

She wasn't there, of course. How could she be when I had seen her lying in her coffin just two weeks ago, the day before she was buried, her casket surrounded by the scented candles she loved?

She lay in Cornish ground now...

She was a daughter, a wife, a mother. She was a friend. But what secrets did Eloise take to her grave? Compulsively-readable and haunting, this is the Sunday Times bestselling debut novel from Book Club champion, Judy Finnigan.




I just couldn't finish this book; I was annoyed almost right off the bat.

I received a copy of this book from NetGalley in exchange for my honest review.

Screwed, by Laurie Plissner

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Flattered by the attentions of Nick, the cutest guy in school, seventeen-year-old Grace Warren, captain of the math team, lets down her guard and gets pregnant the night she loses her virginity. Hopeful that Nick will drop to one knee and propose when she breaks the baby news to him, Grace is heartbroken--Nick wants nothing to do with her.

Her best friend, Jennifer, thinks she should get an abortion, but Grace is certain that her morally upright parents will insist that she keep the baby. After she comes clean to her super-religious, strait-laced parents, they surprise her by insisting that she terminate the pregnancy to avoid humiliating the family.

But when she sees the fetus on the ultrasound, she decides she can't get rid of it. Deciding to save the tiny life growing inside of her, Grace must face the consequences of being that girl - the good girl who got knocked up.




I wasn't a fan of Plissner's previous work, Louder Than Words, but I wanted to give her another chance.  I won't do that again. 

This YA novel feels like it was written by a twelve-year-old, not an established author.  And I have a very hard time believing that staunch Pro-Lifers would suddenly want to force their daughter to have an abortion.  I am Pro-Choice and would never ever ever force someone to terminate a pregnancy.

There was a lot that was unrealistic, but what really pissed me off was all of the slut-shaming.  Why do women do that to each other?  Sex is a natural part of life.  It's healthy.  It's fun.  Yes, teen pregnancies happen.  But they don't just happen to the "bad" girls--those who have sex more than once(!).  Grace is portrayed as so.much.better than those stupid whores who got knocked up.  They're all low-class, low-GPA, unambitious leg-spreaders.  Smart girls don't get pregnant, so Grace is at a complete and total loss about how this happened!  AS IS HER DOCTOR.

I just...can't.

I'm so pissed off at this book.  I won't be reading anything else by Laurie Plissner.  EVER.

I received a copy of this book from NetGalley in exchange for my honest review.

Good as Gone, by Douglas Corleone

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Former U.S. Marshal Simon Fisk works as a private contractor, tracking down and recovering children who were kidnapped by their own estranged parents. He only has one rule: he won’t touch stranger abduction cases. He’s still haunted by the disappearance of his own daughter when she was just a child, still unsolved, and stranger kidnappings hit too close to home.

Until, that is, six-year-old Lindsay Sorkin disappears from her parents’ hotel room in Paris, and the French police deliver Simon an ultimatum: he can spend years in a French jail, or he can take the case and recover the missing girl. Simon sets out in pursuit of Lindsay and the truth behind her disappearance. 

But Lindsay’s captors did not leave an easy trail, and following it will take Simon across the continent, through the ritziest nightclubs and the seediest back alleys, into a terrifying world of international intrigue and dark corners of his past he’d rather leave well alone.




I think that three stars is being a bit generous.  It's more like a 2.75: better than okay, but not good enough to say that I liked it.

The story was compelling and I wanted to keep reading, but I was constantly rolling my eyes at the melodrama and non-stop action.  Seriously.  Simon starts off all manly and turns into an emo teenager.  He kept talking about how he hated violence, but he was constantly getting into fights with other characters.  

I have a hard time believing that all it takes is one clue or roughed-up bad guy to know the exact location where Big Bad Guy is headed.  I like action in my mysteries, but this was over-the-top.

This was a quick read, but would have been better if it were fleshed out more with another 100 or so pages.  I don't think I'll be reading anything else by this author.

I received a copy of this book from NetGalley in exchange for my honest review.

Don't Get Too Comfortable, by David Rakoff

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Don't Get Too Comfortable: The Indignities of Coach Class, The Torments of Low Thread Count, The Never-Ending Quest for Artisanal Olive Oil, and Other First World Problems 

David Rakoff takes us on a bitingly funny grand tour of our culture of excess. Whether he is contrasting the elegance of one of the last flights of the supersonic Concorde with the good-times-and-chicken-wings populism of Hooters Air; working as a cabana boy at a South Beach hotel; or traveling to a private island off the coast of Belize to watch a soft-core video shoot—where he is provided with his very own personal manservant—rarely have greed, vanity, selfishness, and vapidity been so mercilessly skewered. 

Somewhere along the line, our healthy self-regard has exploded into obliterating narcissism; our manic getting and spending have now become celebrated as moral virtues. 

Simultaneously a Wildean satire and a plea for a little human decency, Don’t Get Too Comfortable shows that far from being bobos in paradise, we’re in a special circle of gilded-age hell.




I don't get the hype surrounding the likes of David Rakoff and David Sedaris.  I don't find either one charming, or witty, or funny.  I read this book as part of a challenge and have no desire to read any of his other works.

Gated, by Amy Christine Parker

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Release date: August 6, 2013

She thought the evil lived outside the walls. She was wrong.

In the Community, life seems perfect. Lyla Hamilton believes she is one of the chosen. Following the 9/11 terrorist attacks, Pioneer invited her family to join the Community and escape the evil in the world. They've thrived under his strict, charismatic leadership. Now seventeen, Lyla knows certain facts are not to be questioned:

Pioneer is her leader.
Will is her Intended.
The end of the world is near.

Pioneer has visions of the imminent destruction of humanity. He says his chosen must prepare to fight off the unchosen people, who will surely seek refuge in the Silo, the underground shelter where the Community will wait out the apocalypse.

Lyla loves her family and friends, but a chance encounter with an unchosen boy has her questioning Pioneer, the Community--everything. She needs time to figure out the truth. But with Pioneer's deadline for the end of days fast approaching, time is the one thing she doesn't have.




Drats.  Yet another book that tantalized me with a creepy cover and an intriguing premise, yet failed to deliver.  It was a struggle to finish this book, and I thought of giving up several times.  But I didn't want to start ARC August with a DNF! 

The main character, Lyla, was a whiny brat who was just so put-upon with the whole following-the-rules-of-the-community thing. 

And the whole bad-thing-that-happened-to-my-family-when-I-was-five-is-all-my-fault cliche is so annoying.  I have a five-year-old.  I can guarantee you that neither he nor his friends think that anything that happens--even those events that are the direct result of their actions--is their fault.  And how does she have so many questions when she's been brainwashed for so long?  We're told that she's a strong character, but I didn't see a lot of that.

Then Lyla sees Cody for the first time and she knows she's in love with him, even though she hasn't seen his whole face.

Um...okay?  I don't really know why he was introduced, other than to form a love triangle.

None of the characters seemed true to themselves.  Pioneer, in particular, wasn't a typical cult leader: he showed more manipulation than love of religion.

I was really disappointed in the end.  What was the motivation?  That's not the kind of END OF THE WORLD that I expected.

I received a copy of this book from NetGalley in exchange for my honest review.

Munchkin Monday #3: Cozy Classics: Les Misérables

A quick look at the new books I have read with Boy Child and Girl Child

Give a kid a classic! Cozy Classics is the popular board book series that presents well-loved stories to children aged 0+ through twelve child-friendly words and twelve needle-felted illustrations.

Les Misérables is Victor Hugo’s sweeping French saga about one man’s search for redemption in a world of hardship and misery, and is one of the world’s most beloved classics.

Now you can share this classic with children of any age.

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I admit that the main reason I requested this from NetGalley was to see how on earth they were going to present a tale of thievery, prostitution, and bloodshed to children.
It's...uh... not something you see every day.

The felting is incredible, but that's about all of the positive praise I can give this book.  If you didn't already know the story of Les Mis, you would be terribly confused.

The Husband and I read this book to the kids, but twisted the story so that it wasn't so...depressing.
We'll introduce the Classics to them when they're older.

I received a copy of this book from NetGalley in exchange for my honest review.

Everything I Need To Know I Learned From a Little Golden Book, by Diane E. Muldrow

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A humorous "guide to life" for grown-ups!

One day, Diane Muldrow, a longtime editor of the iconic Little Golden Books, realized that, despite their whimsical appearance, there was hardly a real-life situation that hadn't been covered in the more than 70-year-old line of children's books—from managing money, to the importance of exercise, to finding contentment in the simplest things. 

In this age of debt, depression, and diabetes, could we adults use a refresher course in the gentle lessons from these adorable books, she wondered—a "Little Golden guide to life"? Yes, we could! Muldrow's humorous yet practical tips for getting the most out of life ("Don't forget to enjoy your wedding!" "Be a hugger." "Sweatpants are bad for morale."), drawn from more than 60 stories, are paired with delightful images from these best-loved children's books of all time—among them The Poky Little Puppy, Pantaloon, Mister Dog, Nurse Nancy, We Help Mommy, Five Pennies to Spend, and The Little Red Hen.  

The Golden greats of children's illustration are represented here as well: Richard Scarry, Garth Williams, Eloise Wilkin, J. P. Miller, and Mary Blair, among many others. Sure to bring memories and a smile, this book is a perfect gift for baby boomers, recent grads, lovers of children's literature—or anyone who cherishes the sturdy little books with the shiny cardboard covers and gold foil spines!





How cool is this book idea?  I was psyched to read snippets of books I loved as a kid that have been updated for grown-ups. 

What I received, however, left me scratching my head in bewilderment.  Is this supposed to be funny?  witty?  charming?  Did I just get a bum ARC?  The file I received was all of 11 pages long and comprised a single sentence over a handful of pages:

Is your life starting to feel like a circus?
Don't panic...
Today's a new day.
Frolic.
Daydream.
Work hard.
Play hard.
Believe in Santa Claus...
love at first sight...
and that your ship will come in. As long as you do, your life is bound to be Golden!

Um... okay?  I'm not really sure what this is supposed to be.

I received a copy of this book from Edelweiss in exchange for my honest review.

If You Ask Me (And of Course You Won't), by Betty White

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It-girl Betty White delivers a hilarious, slyly profound take on love, life, celebrity, and everything in between.

Drawing from a lifetime of lessons learned, seven-time Emmy winner Betty White's wit and wisdom take center stage as she tackles topics like friendship, romantic love, aging, television, fans, love for animals, and the brave new world of celebrity.  

If You Ask Me mixes her thoughtful observations with humorous stories from a seven- decade career in Hollywood. Longtime fans and new fans alike will relish Betty's candid take on everything from her rumored crush on Robert Redford (true) to her beauty regimen ("I have no idea what color my hair is and I never intend to find out") to the Facebook campaign that helped persuade her to host Saturday Night Live despite her having declined the hosting job three times already.

Featuring all-new material, with a focus on the past fifteen years of her life, If You Ask Me is funny, sweet, and to the point--just like Betty White.




I love Betty White.  I think she is a brilliant comedienne and one of the most down-to-earth celebrities in Hollywood.  But I didn't love this book.

I don't really know what the point of the book is supposed to be, so I came away from it thinking nothing more than "Huh, okay."  In fact, I'm scratching my head and wondering why this book was written and published.  I didn't learn anything that I didn't know before.

Wait!  That's not true.

I didn't know that she was born and raised in Los Angeles: I'm still convinced that she's from St. Olaf.

The Awakening (Vampire Diaries #1), by L.J. Smith

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A Love Triangle of Unspeakable Horror...

Elena: Searching for the ultimate thrill, she vowed to have Stefan.

Stefan: Haunted by his tragic past, he struggled to resist her passion.

Damon: Driven by revenge, he hunted the brother who betrayed him.

The terrifying story of two vampire brothers and the beautiful girl torn between them.






Um, okay.

So, I know that Smith wrote her series before Stephenie Meyer came onto the scene, but I couldn't help but think of Twilight.  The entire time I listened to The Awakening -- which, admittedly, wasn't very long before I gave up -- I was rolling my eyes and thinking this is such an Edward-and-Bella rip-off!

Yes -- even though Meyer wrote her books years later -- that's the only thing that kept running through my mind. 

Vegetarian vampire?  Check.  New kid at school?  Check.  Freaky-colored eyes?  Check.  Vampire interested in a human girl because of how she smells?  Check.

Check mate.  I'm done.

Louder Than Words, by Laurie Plissner

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The debut novel of an American original, Laurie Plissner's is both medical thriller and lyric love story in the tradition of magical realism

Since the snowy night when her family's car slammed into a tree, killing her parents and little sister, Sasha has been unable to speak except through a computer with a robotic voice. Nothing is wrong with her body; that's healed. But, after four years, Sasha's memory, and her spirit, are still broken. 

Then one day, she's silently cussing out the heavy book she dropped at the library when a gorgeous, dark-haired boy, the kind of boy who considers Sasha a freak or at least invisible, "answers" Sasha's hidden thoughts -- out loud. 

Yes, Ben can read minds; it's no big deal. 

He's part of a family with a host of unusual, almost-but-not-quite-supernatural talents. Through Ben's love, Sasha makes greater progress than she has with a host of therapists and a prominent psychiatrist. With him to defend her, bullies keep the world from ever understanding Sasha, and he pulls away. 

Determined to win him and prove her courage by facing her past, Sasha confronts her past -- only to learn that her family's death was no accident and that a similar fate may wait for her, in the unlikeliest of disguises.

Cover love?  Yes!  It's beautiful! 

Intriguing Premise?  You betcha! 

Stereotypical "broken" character?  Ugh.  Yes.

Stereotypical "omg he's too hot for me" love interest?  Ugh again.

I started and stopped this book three times; it just didn't hold my interest.

It seems to follow the standard YA formula:

hot guy

average girl

super powers

"he's the only person who understands me"

misunderstanding or self-sacrifice

finally getting back together

I don't know if this is actually the case, since I never read further than the first chapter.
 

I received a copy of this book from NetGalley in exchange for my honest review.

Weather Witch (Weather Witch #1), by Shannon Delany

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In a vastly different and darker Philadelphia of 1844, steam power has been repressed, war threatens from deep, dark waters, and one young lady of high social standing is expecting a surprise at her seventeenth birthday party–but certainly not the one she gets!

Jordan Astraea, who has lived out all of her life in Philadelphia’s most exclusive neighborhood, is preparing to celebrate her birthday with friends, family and all the extravagance they might muster. The young man who is most often her dashing companion, Rowen Burchette, has told her a surprise awaits her and her best friend, Catrina Hollindale, wouldn’t miss this night for all the world!

But storm clouds are gathering and threatening to do far more than dampen her party plans because someone in the Astraea household has committed the greatest of social sins by Harboring a Weather Witch.




World-building is extremely important, whether you're creating a universe from scratch, or simply modifying a location for the purpose of telling your story.  The idea of Delany's Steampunkish world is compelling; the execution leaves a lot to be desired.

Within the first few chapters, we are treated to many details about Philadelphia and the individuals who reside there.  Many many many details.  It feels very much like an infodump: all of this data is presented to the reader with no relational map.  And the Proper Nouns.  Oh, the Proper Nouns.  Every new Thing or Group we meet is a new Classification.  And because all of these Proper Nouns are simply dumped into the reader's lap, one is left wondering how they all fit together.  While there is a plethora of information in one regard, there is a lot that seems to have been left out.  

I found it incredibly confusing and dense, especially considering it's a Young Adult novel.

I really disliked Jordan, our fearless (ha!) heroine.  The very first time we meet Jordan, she gives us a list of her faults and goes all emo on us because she's not perfect.  

I'm so tired of reading about I'm-so-pretty-but-I-think-I'm-ugly female characters.  It's such a stereotype in YA literature and I'm over it.

I received a copy of this book via NetGalley in exchange for my honest review.

Where'd You Go, Bernadette?, by Maria Semple

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Bernadette Fox is notorious. To her Microsoft-guru husband, she's a fearlessly opinionated partner; to fellow private-school mothers in Seattle, she's a disgrace; to design mavens, she's a revolutionary architect; and to 15-year-old Bee, she is a best friend and, simply, Mom.

Then Bernadette disappears.

It began when Bee aced her report card and claimed her promised reward: a family trip to Antarctica. But Bernadette's intensifying allergy to Seattle—and people in general—has made her so agoraphobic that a virtual assistant in India now runs her most basic errands. 

A trip to the end of the earth is problematic.

To find her mother, Bee compiles email messages, official documents, secret correspondence—creating a compulsively readable and touching novel about misplaced genius and a mother and daughter's role in an absurd world.




Well, crap. I purchased this book with my Audible credit after I read several glowing reviews from friends and other Goodreads members. It's satirical! Laugh-out-loud funny! One of the best of 2013!

*sigh*

I have to disagree. There were a handful of funny moments and several wry eye-rolls, but nothing that would send me into fits of laughter. Maybe it wasn't supposed to? But since it's written by the same woman who wrote for Arrested Development, Mad About You, and Ellen, I expected awesomely snarky comments.

I didn't like any of the characters, though I did love the voice-over artist. She had a great voice and really captured the characters' personalities.

The book was decent until about halfway through.  At that point, I almost quit. The only reason I kept going? I bought it, dammit!

I was quite unsatisfied with the ending: it was all wrapped up too nicely. Part of the satire? Probably, but at that point I just wanted to be done so I could move on to something else.

Go Ask Alice, by Anonymous

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January 24th - After you've had it, there isn't even life without drugs...

It started when she was served a soft drink laced with LSD in a dangerous party game. Within months, she was hooked, trapped in a downward spiral that took her from her comfortable home and loving family to the mean streets of an unforgiving city. It was a journey that would rob her of her innocence, her youth -- and ultimately her life. 

Read her diary.   
Enter her world.
You will never forget her.

For thirty-five years, the acclaimed, bestselling first-person account of a teenage girl's harrowing decent into the nightmarish world of drugs has left an indelible mark on generations of teen readers. As powerful -- and as timely -- today as ever, Go Ask Alice remains the definitive book on the horrors of addiction.




I knew going in that "Anonymous" didn't actually write the diary entries; that Beatrice Sparks misrepresented herself and the book's origin.  So I read it as a fictional novel.

There is NO way that a teenager speaks this way.  Even if I hadn't known that this wasn't a true story, that would have been a dead giveaway.

Maybe it was controversial and shocking for its time, but there are much better books published now.  If you want to read a compelling novel about drug abuse, try Ellen Hopkins' Crank trilogy, a fictionalized account of her daughter's experience.

Don't Let Me Go, by J.H. Trumble

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Some people spend their whole lives looking for the right partner. Nate Schaper found his in high school. In the eight months since their cautious flirting became a real, heart-pounding, tell-the-parents relationship, Nate and Adam have been inseparable. Even when local kids take their homophobia to brutal levels, Nate is undaunted. He and Adam are rock solid. Two parts of a whole. Yin and yang.

But when Adam graduates and takes an off-Broadway job in New York--at Nate's insistence--that certainty begins to flicker. Nate's friends can't keep his insecurities at bay, especially when he catches Skyped glimpses of Adam's shirtless roommate. Nate starts a blog to vent his frustrations and becomes the center of a school controversy, drawing ire and support in equal amounts. But it's the attention of a new boy who is looking for more than guidance that forces him to confront who and what he really wants.

This book had SO much potential and fell terribly flat.  I absolutely love the premise and I totally swooned over the cover.  Other reviewers compared this to works by David Levithan and John Green, so I was expecting to be wowed.

And I was.  Just not in a good way.

To be fair, I am not gay.  I am also not a guy.  So I have no idea what it's like to be a recently-out 17-year-old high school boy.  But I DO read a fair bit of GLBT YA fiction, so I'm not completely unfamiliar with the genre.

Don't Forget Me! (The Nightmare Room #1), by R.L. Stine

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Danielle Warner was only pretending to hypnotize her brother Peter. So why is Peter acting so strange... so terrifying? Doesn't Peter realize it was all a joke? Danielle and her brother are about to learn a frightening lesson: It's not a good idea to kid around—in The Nightmare Room.

 




I'm trying to remember at what age I used to read R.L. Stine's older books. 10? 12? I read his books religiously when I was a preteen. But I don't remember them being so poorly written.

This book is classified as Young Adult, but I don't know any YA fans who would think this was any good: characters are undeveloped; the story goes way too quickly; the plot is constructed in such an amateur fashion that I'm not sure how this was approved to publish; etc. etc. and so forth.

Give this book to third graders: they would probably enjoy it.

Love Dreams, by January Valentine

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She's a beautiful wreck who hates men, but loves animals. Beaten and left for dead, she suffers from night terrors. He's handsome. He's wealthy. He's in a wheelchair. His entire life has changed, and the past months have been hell. 




**I won this book from Goodreads as a First Reads giveaway**

Can you give a book less than one star?  I must have read a different book than the five people who originally rated this five stars.  Because OMG: this was a painful read.

Trite.  Banal.  Underwhelming.

I should look up more words in my thesaurus, since I'm pretty sure the author did the same thing throughout the book.  Very high-school-esque.  There are a number of references to the 1980s.  Bolero jacket, anyone?  I'm assuming this was written 20+ years ago and was published without anyone looking at it in the present day.

Glaring mistakes: The price on the back of the book is listed as $!5.00.  There are three pictures on the front cover, the back cover, and within the first few pages, all of which show different women of differing nationalities.  Very confusing.  None of the men are in wheelchairs.  In the middle of the book, the pages are out of order, so you wonder what on earth is going on when you flip from page 180 to 187, then page 192 to 181. 

Those, however, are the least of this book's problems: there are grammatical errors; inconsistencies in timeline; and misplaced punctuation.  To start.  It gets worse.  How?  The lack of plot.  And the two-dimensional characters.  And the cheesy dialog.  And the spineless female lead, Sienna.  And the I-loved-life-until-I-landed-in-a-wheelchair love interest.  And the book's message that you have to be in a relationship in order to be happy.  WTF?  Sienna goes on a European vacation with a guy she can't stand, which her "best" friend pushes her to do.  WHY?  I saw zero motivation in any action performed by any character.

There is a psychic/medium.  A half-dozen car accidents.  Mention of an Incubus.  A "twist" at the end that you can see coming a mile away.  Technically-correct sex scenes which are so dull I wanted to poke my eyes out: palming her buttocks?  Really?

I need to go read some YA dystopian fiction to lift my spirits.

One For The Money (Stephanie Plum #1), by Janet Evanovich

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Welcome to colorful Trenton, New Jersey, and the wild and wonderful world of Stephanie Plum. In One for the Money, rookie "apprehension agent" Plum may be a bit wet behind the ears, but nobody's gonna take it easy on her; especially her first skip, an ex-cop and murder suspect named Morelli.

2.5 stars, rounded up to 3 because I actually finished it and didn't toss it aside.

I knew going in that this book was published in 1994, so I expected some outdated references. I laughed out loud at the reminder of wireless land-line phones with pull-up antennae and "car" phones. Ah, the good ol' days when you got 20 minutes a month and each additional minute cost $1 (as my father used to constantly remind me). But the Spandex biker shorts? Ugh. How many outfits did she wear in this book? I swear that 60% of them involved Spandex and t-shirts.

:: shudder ::

What I mostly took away from the book was the ridiculous machismo. I really don't get the whole "I know he may be a murderer, but he's really hot, so it's okay to flirt with him" thing. The main character -- Stephanie Plum -- was not nearly as outraged at the violence against women she was seeing and experiencing as she should be. And how on earth does someone who's been a bounty hunter for all of two days keep running into the person she's tracking? Meanwhile, the cops and previous bounty hunters have no idea where to look. Honestly? She's kind of an idiot.

There was too much going on in terms of the "mystery" and the ending was anti-climactic. It was almost as though Evanovich decided that it would be a good time for the book to come to a close, so voila! Here is all of the information on the bad guys. Case closed. Resume flirting.

Thankfully this book was a quick read.